Each act of honesty has impact

I’m still seeing the ripples of something big that I did eight years ago. Or maybe it was just a small thing, with a big impact. The thing was simply this: being myself, visibly and honestly. Just a couple of weeks ago a young man sent me a message to say how much easier it was for him to come out because there was a gay teacher at his school. Could we empower more teachers, and bring down the horrifying levels of self-harm, mental ill-health and even suicide that disproportionately affect young LGBT+ adults?

The simple act of saying ‘I’m gay’ is not so simple, of course. There is a generation of teachers still scarred from the section 28 legislation that not only stigmatised openness about sexuality but actively forbade any discussion under the guise of preventing ‘promotion’. Then there’s the worry about the students’ reactions. What if coming out undermines your authority? What if you become a target? And parents – could they object? What about colleagues – would they be supportive? Could it be an issue for your promotion prospects?

Each act of honesty breaks down barriers, wins hearts and minds and makes it a bit easier for the next person to do the same

I personally decided to be open about my sexuality after a bout of life-threatening illness and hospitalisation during which I watched the film Milk about Harvey Milk, an openly gay politician in the US in the late 1970s. His mantra was simple – every gay person who is open with their friends, family and community turns being LGBT+ from something threatening and foreign into something more commonplace. Each act of honesty breaks down barriers, wins hearts and minds and makes it a bit easier for the next person to do the same.

Small steps to big effects

The act of coming out itself can be large or small. I began by correcting a student who referred to my fiance as ‘she’ by saying ‘it’s a he actually’. Cue a few startled looks and questions in class but we pretty quickly moved back to the lesson content. After successfully hurdling that first fence, I was keen to take the next step and arranged with the senior leadership team to organise a series of assemblies with all year groups to talk about why people vary in sexuality and gender identity, what some of the terms mean, what the law says and why it’s important to talk about this.

Changing mindsets

The whole environment has also been shifting to support LGBT+ teachers. We recently had an extraordinary moment in time where we had both an openly gay secretary of state for education, Justine Greening, and schools minister, Nick Gibb. All of the teaching and leadership unions have issued guidance and support for school leaders to help them develop sensible and supportive policies. Faith groups including the Church of England and the Catholic Education Service also now offer supportive guidance.

The dial is shifting. There are more role models, there is more support and the public attitude continues to shift to be more accepting of different sexualities.

However, there is much more work to do. In the last month I’ve heard of one headteacher whose local authority advised them to stay in the closet and not mention their forthcoming same-sex marriage to avoid ‘difficulties in the community’. Another gay teacher was asked in an interview, ‘isn’t your LGBT+ advocacy a bit of a distraction to your job?’ We still see active hostility to trans teens and adults as though their mere existence is a threat to moral values and some mystical natural order, just as we saw 30 years ago with gay and lesbian people.

We will change it, piece by piece, by telling stories, by educating, and by being open and honest. Nobody should feel forced to come out, and nobody should be made to be unsafe, but we can and should do more to make it ever easier for every adult to be their authentic, honest and truthful selves.

The next generation is watching.